Overcoming Your Difficult Family: 8 Skills for Thriving in Any Family Situation by Eric Maisel

Author:Eric Maisel [Maisel, Eric]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Publisher: New World Library
Published: 2017-05-14T22:00:00+00:00

When Children Are the Victims

Of course, more often the children are the abused and the adults are the abusers. How do children try to protect themselves in an abusive family? According to the researchers Carbonell, Reinherz, and Beardslee, the two primary methods children employ are “planful evasion” and “seeking and activating support”:

While previous research has identified avoidance as a coping strategy often employed during times of adversity (with limited effectiveness), what we heard our respondents describe was qualitatively different. They did not describe themselves as passive, nor in denial of the circumstances that made their lives difficult. Instead, they talked about the evasion of adversity, most often when they were quite young, as an active and planful strategy for protecting themselves from harm. Respondents who used evasion of adversity described developing strategies for physically avoiding violent people or situations. Respondents also stressed the importance of social support in their lives. Seeking out other people and asking for help offered an avenue to find ways of coping that the participants may not have found alone.

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